haven't posted in about two months, cos i've been really busy and so many things have cropped up.. this week we had about 3 tests, one which i skipped cos of hp interview which was a disaster(since they attacked my chinese language and me not reading lian he zao bao which completely blew me off the hook and made me stutter and stammer i was so flustered by the time i got out- but interviews are fun too cos you get to meet old friends and gossip about the interviewers who were so mean to you but oh well) but in spite of everything i still had the time to watch american idol(even though david cook kind of sucked but i still completely and totally support him) and take home chef at the same time (channel surfing) i don't know why on earth i chose to watch tv even though next week is also piled high with tests i think i need to get my priorities right but right now my personal welfare is right at the top of my list so i've decided to shove studying aside and i'll probably go straight to bed the moment i finish typing this.

every week now passes like a blur i don't even remember what happened last week i can only recall going for lectures and cca(which by the way, is starting to get really irritating since we have guitar 4 times a week-on saturday from 10-5 too! and saturday is extremely sacred for me because it happens to be my only free day and now its been taken away by guitar it pisses me off but whatever. so i'm trying to find ways to rebel the ridiculously many training sessions. its taking our lives away!! plus the fact that we've been playing the same song for the past 2 months or so over and over again doesn't help matters.

tomorrow is going to be one heck of a day again. i don't know how i get myself into these horrible situations, but i'm going to njc after school tomorrow to watch a soccer match. which oh, for your information, does not involve hci at all. it happens to be a match between njc and sajc, and i don't know for the life of me why i actually promised vanessa and co. i'll be there. not only will i be extremely(and i emphasise extremely) extra in khaki in the midst of grey and white, i'll also have to give up MORE time which should be used for, i repeat, studying which is something i honestly haven't been doing for the past few days. i think i've become quite a procrastinator.

now i better get some math done before i sleep so i'll give myself the impression i actually did work.

CNY was over so fast. the holidays were a total blur and the only thing i remember vaguely was waiting for like, one hour, for the bus to arrive at sentosa. i am never, ever, going to sentosa on a public holiday ever again. anyway, i realised that even though its chinese new year, many people just ignore the tradition that you have to wear red. these few days there's suddenly been a surge of black-wearers. i guess tradition and superstition no longer have places in our modern society..

just this afternoon i went and bought some valentines day gifts for all the sc pple and my classmates, and kinda spent about a quarter of the money i gained from angpows during CNY visitation. but oh well.

i'm finding it extremely difficult to concentrate in lessons nowadays, especially economics. honestly, i didn't learn anything particularly useful in today's economics lesson.. actually, i think it was because i didn't understand what the tutor was saying. i am going to die. jc life is really much harder than sec school. i really miss sc!! especially sec 4 emath lessons where we practically did the same stuff every lesson i completely didn't have to pay attention. oh, who can ever forget bio lessons. we just slept throughout. now though, if i were to sleep during any lesson, i would probably be kicked out of hp. everyone here is just so smart. i bet half of them have IQs that cannot even be measured. its depressing.

enough depressing stuff. its valentines day in 3days time and i'm super excited. even though valentine's was like a huge event in sc, i think in jc valentines would just be crazy with all the hormones and everything. i can't wait!!

oh no, i was just reminded that on wednesday its cross country. oh no. and i would totally stand out in my bright yellow apollo shirt. and totally get malu-ed when i reach the finish line- last.

i'm currently listening to switchfoot and some of the songs are really old but they are still my all time favourites. i wish i could see them live again and this time, get their signatures!! ahh anyway i think today has been a really lethargic and restless day. the only 'work' i've gotten done is reading a little part of a book about communism in vietnam which i don't think is even related to the topic but whatever. its hard getting work done when you're around so many members of the family. cny celebration yesterday was a riot. i had a lot of fun trying to sell stuff and getting dissed by so many people and getting that same crushing feeling in my heart over and over again... but it was still fun. though i think i'd make a horrible salesperson.. then went out with pri school friends it was really exciting to reminisce and talk about old times.. which made me feel extremely jaded and old. i can't believe in approximately 3 yrs time i'll be driving my own car.. and maybe in 5years time, starting to work in that horribly big full of shit world economy. my gosh. time passes really fast..

just now i actually watched a little of the news on tv and i was quite disturbed by what some people actually do this chinese new year. like running to plunge the first joss stick in temples and if thats not enough, the people continue to pull it up and down continuously its supposed to bring you some sort of luck but how could it really since its really dangerous and poses such a big fire hazard i was quite appalled. but oh well. i'm glad i'm not part of this craziness.

more visitation tomorrow and more futile reading.

something tells me i'm not getting my priorities right. i am drowning in this cowshitpool of homework but i still spend half the time i have at home online. not doing work. and beside me the pile of books on Sukarno, Vietnam and Burma etcetc are so daunting i feel like just stabbing them and throwing them out of the window. but i refrain. because then i could be convicted of killer littering.

many things have happened recently. a highlight of the week was definitely the switchfoot concert. i must sincerely thank yaoqi for inviting me.. choosing to go for switchfoot instead of CCA was one of the best decisions i've ever made. even though the opening acts were WAAAy below switchfoot standards, and their music was cacophonous and the host was an odious woman i felt like it was all worth it at the end of the concert cause switchfoot simply rocked. i was totally excited about the switchfoot shirt i bought and was feeling high the whole 1and a half hour trip home... until the next day i came to class and SOMEONE showed me her wallet with switchfoot signatures and i felt quite pissed.

and then there's this stupid history essay which i simply can't write because i have so much research to do and everything just goes in one ear and out the other within SECONDS.

and chinese new years coming i doubt i'll beable to acomplish anything with all those visitations.

and the food.

its finally over and i'm so relieved. yesterday was by far the most nerve wrecking day ever since the start of the year. when the high fliers were called on stage i really started to cry and it was such a nail biting moment when the results were in my hand i was shaking! but its all over and i'm really thankful for everything and i feel really blessed and i want to live life to the fullest now but I JUST GOT A FLU and i'm sniffing 10 times in a minute and my nose is blocked and i just want to give my head a blow to knock all the silly stuff out of my head so i can be well again and really enjoy life.

today anabel and i got 5kg heavier eating at sakae. we had the buffet as always, since we were pretty much starving. and we kept ordering plates and more plates. i think i ate like, 10 gyozas. i could see out of the corner of my eye one of the staff was staring at us with furrowed brows- she looked quite disgusted at our voracious appetite but that didn't really bother me. i was only concerned about the amount of soya sauce in the saucer. ok that makes me sound like a glutton but it was only because we were sooo hungry and all i had before that was a hot dog bun(with ketchup and bacon bits, a winning combination) and potato wedges( which are extremely unhealthy, very filling and taste positively heavenly). not much, right. anyway, today marks a first in the time i've spent in hwa chong. its the first time we've actually been given official homework! and its a 3weeks 10pages essay about nationalism, which is a topic that began on a very interesting note but one that i'm gradually beginning to lose interest in even though it has my favourite country to study BURMA in it. why i like burma? it all started when i read the book saving fish from drowning(oh the irony) by amy tan and i was intrigued by all the descriptions of burma and everything. so now it has officially become one of my favourite countries to study.

countdown to doomsday: 2 more days!!!

yesterday i was sitting on the bus when i happened to look out of the window and see this extremely amusing car sticker. it was positively hilarious. it read 'i'm not driving fast, i'm just flying low'. i tell you when i get a car, i'll fill it up with this kind of freakishly funny stickers, and make every driver laugh so hard, it'll cause lots of traffic jams around the country. i'll be notorious then!!

oh horrors of horrors. its official the o level results are going to be released in 3 FREAKING DAYS TIME. i can't believe this time in 3DAYS i will know my fate. i can't believe how scared i am. i don't want to live a life of regrets, but i'm starting(okay actually this has been on my mind for the past 2 months already, but whatever) to regret slacking so much during the olevel period. sigh. why must there be olevels! i am so hating all the IP people now whose biggest problem on their minds right now is if they have gotten a B3 for higher chinese, which, for me, is the very LEAST of my worries. anyway, today school was really mundane and monotonous. we spent 3 hours straight in lecture theatre 5, though technically me and davina spent like 15 mins more, cos we were waiting for the rest of the class to come up. today we took height and weight, which made me devastatingly embarrassed. though i felt abit better since there are about 3 or 4 people in class who are both SHORTER and HEAVIER than me poor girls...

i hate the graphic calculator i just bought for 159 dollars which is a ripoff. i will guard it with my life.

today's the earliest i've been home in weeks, but i hardly have the energy to enjoy this day, cause i came home like a walking zombie and slept for a good 1 and a half hours which totally wasted my 'coming home early' time, and now i'm blogging in the hopes that the pile of math homework beside me will somehow disappear and end up completed without as much as me touching it. i can still taste the olives in my mouth, after eating olive rice for lunch with jasleen at this pad thai restaurant at crown centre. i never knew crown centre actually had food. i always thought it was a place filled with nasty tuition centres who charge highly exorbitant fees and have workers that embezzle funds and stuff like that. all in all, i never had a good impression of crown centre. maybe its because you can't really see whats going on inside the shopping centre from the outside due to the tinted windows which makes it, i guess, even more sinister.

finally we've had our first economics lesson, and i can't honestly say i've learnt more than what i already knew yesterday about economics. but i guess it'll get better. after all, our teacher is really animated and interesting to look at, so it cancels out the sheer complexitiy of the subject.

i've never spent so much time on just ONE lit poem in my entire life. in hci, we spent 2 days worth of lit lessons on one siegfried sassoon poem(and still haven't finished analysing it). i think sassoon has an infatuation with war. perhaps he's like singapore's royston tan, who had such a bad experience during his own army days that he's vowed to take his revenge on the army/war using his artistic talents. which is the impression sassoon gives me, anyhow.

today i crashed a knowledge and inquiry lesson and was pretty much stumped by what was going on. all i know is, i have know idea what prompted me to walk inside that classroom. i think i stand out alot too, with my bright blue uniform and everything. anyways, i'm never taking KI, simply because i can never bear to part with my other subjects, save for economics, which i don't really have much clue about even after todays lesson, but hopefully after a few more i'll actually come to love it. right.

these couple of days i've been having a ball cca hopping. and finally lessons have started and its really quite an eye opener to start analysing poems and thinking about history (that isn't exactly history since the people are dead and things are still changing) all of a sudden. Plus, i think i've been permanently scarred with a fear of coaches ever since yesterday's touch rugby training. i really don't want to talk about it anymore, but lets say, the guitar training today was like heaven compared to the hell me and jesslyn suffered yesterday. okay maybe i'm exaggerating just a teeny bit. but thats the beauty of the language. Jules renard said 'writing is the only time you can talk without being interrupted'. i realised that i love to quote jules renard. he makes the wittiest comments!!

its kind of scary that, in exactly one weeks time, i'll know my fate for the next two years. i'm really afraid. never been more afraid in my entire life. i keep getting recurring nightmares of horrible results that i hope will never ever materialise. anyway, let me get my mind off these dreadful thoughts by talking about the lessons that we've been having for the past few days. First of all, i'm sick of people labeling me as elitist. seriously, i'm no more elitist than i've been before, and i wasn't and still am not elitist at all. i was completely stupefied when someone shouted across the staircase 'hey elite' when she was actually referring to me!! this is terrible:( ah well. i guess this is the price that has to be paid for being the only class with its own classroom+ lecture theatre+ staff room + special timetable that seperates you from the mainstream students.

but seriously, humanities has been extremely enjoyable. i'm so glad we're doing hamlet, even though some people from certain catholic schools have already done it the year before. but who cares. i'd always remember the whole 'tobe or not to be' hamlet soliloquy. and hamlet is the most complicated guy ever, next to macbeth, who is simply crazy and stupid. history is also pretty interesting, since we're learning about southeast asia, and i love learning about burma, ever since i read that 'saving fish from drowning' book which had loads of references to burma, and i too, choose to call it that way. we haven't had an economics or gp lesson as of today, but i hope the lesson tomorrow will be really fun. i haven't had a very good impression of economics as yet, since the teacher who gave the talk about econs seemed to imply that econs doesn't really have many prospects, which made me think about why i was even doing econs atall. besides it being a filler subject. to be honest, i would really miss all these lessons if i were to be forced to leave hwachong next week...

two days ago i went back to secondary school, and i have never felt so patriotic in my entire life, besides the times where i see singapore being mentioned at international competitions or summits or anything like those. it was so heartwarming to see all the juniors and ex seniors and eat the canteen food, which i failed to appreciate the last 4 years of my life, but am missing it terribly ever since the move to hci. i will definitely be going back there for thefood, but unfortunately the next time i step into scgs would be a terrifying occasion, that is, the o'lvl result collection day. which i am completely dreading.

its not nice to have your life in tandem. thats the way i've been feeling for the past 2 weeks. despite orientation and all, i still can't shake off the feeling that maybe in 2weeks time (which is when i choose to believe the olevel results will be out, even though some crazy pple say its going to be this coming friday!) i won't even have the chance to step inside hci again. its quite sad really, when i see all the ip/highschool people prancing around school/ so carefree and excited, without having to worry about the number of A1S in their o level cert. i have a recurring nightmare of me receiving my olvl cert and seeing lots of big numbers. but thats not the point. the point is, i havent really enjoyed the past two weeks with all these things bothering me and everything. i think jesslyn feels the same way, so i'm not alone. anyway, now i'll talk about what has happened ever since school started and i swopped my SC badge for an arrow shaped hwa chong one. and the badge is really weird cos it has this stringy thing behind it, which i guess can only work when you actually have a COLLAR, which my sc uniform certainly does not have.

anyway, every single day i feel very outstanding in school. all for the wrong reasons. its because in a sea of white and khaki i totally stand out since i'm in blue. which is not a very good feeling. i completely feel like i donned the wrong uniform and i'm so out of place sometimes. intellectually i also feel out of place. since everyone is, say, foyle young poet award winners and student council presidents and PSL heads and CCA leaders when, i'm just a normal human being. you can't shake off this inferior feeling in hwachong. i guess thats the price you pay when you choose a top jc when you're actually not up to it. all this time we haven't had a single tutorial and i don't think we're even going to have one for the next week. i think anyone from any other jc will faint upon seeing my timetable. i have like, 2-3hour breaks every single day, maybe about 2hours of lessons, and 5 hours of free time and fun. i realised that jc people simply love to go out for lunch/dinner/supper. just two days ago we had a campfire in school which ended around 11, then some pple wanted to go out for supper. when i told them it was 11, some guy remarked 'still so early what'. nothing surprises me anymore.

my senior class has a fascination with the song 'everywhere' by michelle branch for goodness knows what weird reason. thank goodness i like michelle branch (who kind of disappeared into oblivion for the last., lets say, 5 years) otherwise i'd be getting headaches everytime they sing that song.

i think i've been brainwashed by the students council. there are times when hwachong songs just keep running in my head, over and over again. just an hour ago i was saying the 'shan ge' cheer thing to my brother, who was only too happy to sing it with me. he's also the product of a council brainwashing, albeit the high school version.

i miss my og. they were really nice people. i was supposed to go out with them just now but had other stuff on in church sigh. okay enough abt school now i'll talk about cell and everything. i think this year marks and complete change in my lifestyle and everything. its like a watershed year. for school and church too. i now enjoy service more, since i'm sitting with people younger than me and i feel like a lau da. haha. tomorrow is going to be the first time we're having assembly with the high school, i wonder what it'll be like. i think its really cool that the national anthem is played live, and not recorded like in secondary school.. but the bad part of that is that your silence cannot be muffled by the recorded voices, so its very evident that you're not singing. but who cares.

today's the first day of 2008 but i am hardly excited. and i don't really know why. maybe its because i don't have my familiar friends and environment to look forward to like i did last year? anyway i think its going to get quite weird writing 2008 instead of 2007 for the first part of the year. it always gets like this until maybe the 2/3rd month. i was just getting ready the stuff for school tomorrow (sigh) and realised that i've got quite a few things missing. not like my uniform has many parts, but, these things still happen. i wonder if i even fit into it, considering i've really gorged myself this holidays, which explains why i'm still suffering from a mild sore throat.

dreading tomorrow!!! :(((

i realised this blog has been abandoned for the longest time. since the year is coming to a close( its just 2 more days to the new year and i'm positively dreading it) i decided to write a post to reflect on all the crazy things that have happened this year.i especially don't want to go to school in 2008, because i no longer can study in 190 dunearn rd, no longer have to climb, what, 4flights of stairs and walk one large circle to 4dg, where so many happy times this year have been spent. all my best friends are going to different schools,and i'm surely going to miss them all so much. its too bad people like vanessa and anabel are still overseas now( i'm so jealous!) otherwise we could have some sort of final gathering and say goodbye to the times we've had. yesterday i went to charlottes house(like, 50mins late) and i guess thats probably the final time i'd see them until lets say, when we collect our results at the end of january this year.here are some things i'd never ever forget-

4dg
i never realised how much i love 4dg! you guys have been the best ever. i'll never forget the times in the morning when i walked upstairs and the 4dg classroom would be in pitch darkness as if no one was inside but when i finally stepped in through the door i would finally realise that the classroom had been turned into a makeshift motel. since everyone would be sleeping in all kinds of positions on the tables and the floors. i never knew how exciting lessons could be with you people.and how our classroom was deemed 'the dirtiest class ever' by teachers who swore they hated us but by the end of the year came to love us as well. its amazing how we were able to survive in such shambles of a classroom, and grouse our way through 2years of studies to finally work superhard in the final weeks(no wait, it was the final days actually) to study extremely hard for the o'levels. i think we were both the laziest and the most hardworking class ever!!

my canteen table gang
you guys are the best!! charlotte- you and i have spent somuch time quarreling over the hottest medieval guys and the best jane austen books! i think you'd have been a great noblewoman in the elizabethan times. and yaoqin sheryl i am really amazed at how you guys jumped from being so crazy over feilunhai to your current dbsk. yaoqi thank you for all your info about the latest stars and your craziness at all the 'qian changhuis' that we went to. sheryl thanks for being the 'friendliest'neighbour ever! haha and for sleeping in class in sec2 and all the stupid games we played in class to chase away boredom. estelle i'll neverforget your fascination with beautiful girls and how we talkedand talked so much in sec2 that every teacher hated us and scolded us but we still managed to laugh it off. and how our impressions of each other changed so drastically after sitting together, which was also quite funny cos we didn't really want to sit beside each other but we didn't want to sit beside anyone else either so we ended up together. those were some of the most fun times i had in my 4 years really. joey -my chinese lesson buddy remember how we always drew in each others textbooks during chinese i never enjoyed chinese lessons so much! and we were right in front of our extremely boring chinese teacher too. and even though we crapped answers when asked our laoshi still didn't scold us.you all were the best!

my soccer gang
you guys revived my passion for manchester united and its goalkeeper. i have loved all man u goalkeepers from barthez to van der sar but i'll never love 'mummy's boy'! and i still don't know why you call him that actually. amanda and vanessa you guys are the craziest man u fans ever! even though vanessa you care more about the players bodies than the game itself. i'll always remember how we turned sports into a mini betting game. which, i always lost. remember when we betted for the world cup last year (that seems so long ago) and i was this close to winning but amanda it was your fault i didn't! and how we betted on formula one at the beginning of this year and vanessa it was your favourite raikonnen that won and amanda you had such horrible luck during the betting sessions. you guys also made me see another darker side to the canteen food. and vanessas obsession with western food. thank you mrs carrick and mrs ronaldo, even though mrs carrick seems to have so many other obsessions with other guys you bad girl!

my 'partners in crime'
finally, i am going to talk about red cross, which i have said forever and will continue to say, was my NUMBER ONE biggest mistake i have made in my whole entire secondary school life. i don't know what in my secondary one confused and indoctrinated mind prompted me to pick this cca which i have regretted choosing all my life. i wish i had just continued on with badminton or something. anything. but the friendships that i've made just by joining the cca i will never regret.anabel yaoqi rachel melissa jacq estelle yitseng we all form the official redcross hating club.you guys opened me to a world of lies and deceit and giving very creative excuses to pon meetings. and even if we actually graced the meetings we would find some ways to totally ignore the things going on around us and simply have fun. anabel remember the times where we crashed lessons and slacked around at the back of the class, and turned usually boring lessons into games and art classes by doodling on the whiteboard and distracting everybody and telling jokes while pumping, which i have to say is no mean feat, forming the 'we hate kukumalu and queen mother' hate club on facebook withe melissa... yitseng your wisecracks and your sarcasm always make me crack upespecially when you spoke in damnpro chinese and made estelle gawk, yaoqi,rachel,mel,jacq you crazy four always trying to find ways to just break the rules... you guys made the most boring stuff most memorable.

my table partners
i have a knack for forming the closest relationships with the people i sit beside in class every single year, this year was no exception. amandalee( the girl who introduced me to all things taiwanese and helped me so much this year with beauty tips and soccer tips and music tips and food tips- remember the doughnuts, and lots of other tips), amandaong( the arsenal/thierry henry fan who suddenly switched to liverpool/gerrad who suddenly switched to torres girl) and sylvia (the redcross chair who was indoctrinated by my anti-redcrossness and my distractions during class while you tried to pay attention) i especially enjoyed the times where we sat in one whole long row at the back of the class and looked down on everybody (literally) even though all of you complained that i simply wasn't meant to be at the back judging by my vertically challenged frame. you made school so worthwhile.

these are the people that made 2007 so enjoyable despite all the hectic schedues and last minute work and slacking-even-though-you-should-be-studying so much more worthwhile. going to miss you guys so much!

i know i should be studying, but i doesn't hurt blogging once in a while... the week has been very very busy. i know its what i always say. but still. just watched harry potter with my brother yesterday. its not good. its not bad. okay it was quite horrible. i was horrified they changed the book SO MUCH! jk rowling would be pissed. and that luna lovegood person was quite cute. i liked helena bonham carter. i finally see how great an actress she was. i think she saved the day. with luna. and fred and george. even though there were too many fireworks and it soon became too loud and irritating.. most of the parts were totally boring and stupid. and the kiss- it was disgusting. anabel said someone actually cheered when they kissed at the cinema. ah, i'm disgusted.

listening to crowded house's 'don't stop now' now. haha. its not bad. even though they are old and fugly but still, old people can sing well!

i've got no time to blog, so i'll just post the lyrics to eleventyseven's new single- its beautiful
I wish that you would tell me how
you know me well and want to be together
fallen short and faded out
but you keep making gardens in this desert

despite the grace that i dismissed
forgiveness was the catalyst
to penetrate my heart with what is true

its beautiful
you can turn mistakes to miracles
the way that you still love me after all
its beautiful

redeem the years i've thrown away
i'm ready to make good on what i've wasted

i'm asking you to shape my heart
i want to be your work of art
cause when you change me and make me more like you
its beautiful


aren't the lyrics beautiful? can't wait for 'galatic conquest' which is going to hit stores when i'm having my prelims! arghh:(

i haven't blogged in a while, lots of things have happened, like redcross camp, which , i repeat, was a total waste of time! anyway, here are some very overdue pictures...

went on a superfun outing with estelle and yitseng today... too bad have to go to school tomorrow for a stupid red cross camp!! arghhh. here's a picture of us doing the LUGE. it was super cool except that we kept banging into other chickened out people. amateurs. haha

remember benji from SYTYCD? his sis is going to be on SYTYCD3. i can't wait. more lacey means, more benji! haha. just read benji's myspace thats how i knew. i thought it was so funny when he said that he got recognized in singapore for MALCOLM from malcolm in the middle.

finally, today i got to wake up late. at like 10 something. i felt so refreshed!! i got my whole weekend planned out for me now. i'm going to the NIGHT SAFARI! can't wait. i forgot when was the last time i ever went there.. maybe i'll get bitten by a snake or a crocodile in the dark! how scary. anyway, i turned on the tv just now and saw a rerun of mrbean. from 1990!! i can't believe it. mr bean has been around BEFORE I was even born!! haha. okay now that i think about it, its not so exciting. but rowan atkinson looks exactly the same in mr beans holiday as in 1990. must be alot of facial products.

woohoo, i just realised singapore has alot of cool attractions!! like that horse village thing in the newspapers today. and sentosa 's getting really cool too! mandy told me they have this fish massage thing where your feet get cleaned by alot of little fish! how cool is that! haha. all the better to attract our 6million people! okay i'm getting very nationalistic, maybe because i just did some history. hitler rocks! i don't care if my history teacher is mean to me, or biased against me, or simply hates my work because i still love history! HA!

ooh lala. heroes made my hair stand and my skin crawl. i love this type of show, it makes me wonder about what would happen. can't wait to go to school tomorrow and talk to anabel and vanessa all about it! :):) ah yay, tomorrow is a special day, i can go to school later. yes! for once i can take my time to get up and eat and leave the house. i'm so looking forward to saturday! finally, i am free.

"Alexithymia"

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow
Don't believe anything you say
Anymore, in the morn, in the morning
Bricks to this old house are breaking
Steel would have weathered but now forlorning
It's alarming how loud the silence screams
No warn, no warn, no warning
Addictions fill the table where the family used to sit
And conversate
Conversate to the sounds
To the sounds of a record player
With it's jumping needle and the lights that grow dim over time

With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive

Are you where you thought you'd be
So beautiful and only twenty-three
Opposition rests in the hearts
With no, with no, with no opportunity
It's not that we don't talk
It's just no one really listens and honesty fades
Like a politician lost in the course
All smiles and no one remembers our names

With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive

Don't try to wake me up
Even if the sun really does come out tomorrow
Don't believe anything I say
Anymore, in the morn, in the morning

With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive
With downcast eyes
There's more to living than being alive

i know, its been almost a month since i blogged, and so many things have hapenned. today was really fun, because a lot of us went to watch the stage club's production of MACBETH, which was realy cool. i always wanted to watch a shakespeaean play. of course, it was a low budget play, like the phantom was 100 times grander( even midsummer nights dream was better) but stil, it was exciting to see macbeth being played on stage. and i always wanted to laugh when the actors forgot their lines. i loved theQUESTION and answer session after the show, it was really cool and alot of people asked really good questions( except this old lady in the front who asked really long winded questions which we really didn't get!

also, there was this really cute boy that played fleance. he was so cute!! and he got the loudest cheers. and his acting wasn't bad too:)

yesterday was the greatest day ever!!!! i wanted to say greatest day of my life but i guess its not. the greatest IS TO COME! haha. just came back from a lousy boring redcross meeting. wanted to go for evening by the pond with other people but then i was super sleepy and there's like lit tmr. and survivor tonight!

anyway, more about yesterday. i'm so glad i didn't chose to wear the hc uniform cos i think the sc uniform brought me alot alot of luck! and i felt much cooler in sc uniform anyway. just now heard at red cross there was talk abt changing the sc uniform to sth that is green with a red belt! estelle was like, ' then we would look like christmas trees!'and i wouldn't want that.

anyway, we were like, 4 hours early yesterday. the queue wasn't even set up!! so of course once the 933 people put up the red tape, yaoqi and me DASHED for the line. estelle was busy doing homework i think. i guess she was the only one who actually accomplished something during the waiting time. heh. but unfortunately, there was this fanclub member who got infront of us, and when one member goes in front, the whole club follows. so suddenly the queue infront of us expanded from 2 to like 11. and we were pissed. yq was like 'wa, why the queue suddenly become so long'.

anyway, we went in and SAW TANK PERFORM! i didn't expect him to perfom so many songs. like 7 i think.he was super tired cos he even forgot the lyrics of 'dong le'. we were all like singing it for him!! anyway, midway he suddenly flung like 2 or 3 posters out. and it was quite far away from us. but i reached out my hand and GRABBED ITTTT!! i didn't even know what happened. i was shocked too!

anyway, later yaoqi and i got his signature, and we were FIRST IN LINE! also, we shook his hand. i'm going to treasure my hand for the rest of my life. haha.

i support barack obama! i think its so cool that a black has come up to contest for presidency. down with bush!

ah this week has been a horrible week. and it has been raining everyday. i think its a SIGN. that the rest of the year is going to suck:( i haven't been online in like 5 days, i feel so miserable! ah shucks NAPFA tomorrow. plus red cross. what could be worse!!

i am hating my brother every minute even though he's kinda sick. cos he deleted my limewire. i mean, he DELETED MY LIMEWIRE! okay maybe i'm exaggerating. anyway, i'm so happy jet's coming to singapore. even though i probably can't go since my parents would never let me buy a 85 buck ticket to watch a band even my brother has never heard of. i mean, do they live down under?? hahah. funny pun.

anyway, i'm really really saddened by the whole virginia tech thing. i mean, its all people are talking about nowadays. and this happened just when i thought that asians were getting to a higher foothold in america. now whatever asians have been doing to improve our image in america is destroyed. and i'm pissed. seriously. all because of a stupid rash act by a stupid rash boy. you know, he reminds me of someone from school,. and that makes me scared...

i haven't blogged for about a week now. this was because of stupid blogger that decided to change the whole damn thing to google beta. and i was too lazy to go make a damn google account. i realise i'm using damn a lot. i think its because i just listened to the best damn thing by avril. okay i think i made a wrong judgement. the songs are really okay. but i still hate her image however.

red cross was really boring today. but i got anabel addicted to DEATH NOTE! and she actually went to go an rent the dvd today so i gotta borrow it from her on monday. i can't wait! especially since my brother loves the show so much. my brother isn't easily pleased la.

oh, i told sinlin and amanda about my dream last night, about me taking a picture with van der sar! i tell you, i have HAVE to go to old trafford one day. its my lifetime dream.

what the heck is the red jumpsuit apparatus and why do so many people like them. i think they kinda suck. ohoh

survivor is going to be in CHINA. cool 100%

today is a sleepy day. i almost fell asleep during emath. is it me, or is emath getting really boring. chinese too. we watched this weird video about birds. i though the drawings were really ugly. i'm not very intellectual, so when everyone was going like OHHHH i was like WTF?

ok today during recess charlotte and sheryl and i were reminiscing about the past. i think the past is really nicer than the present. it would be so cool to be born in the victorian era!

just got home from another boring day in school, and a wild goose chase for msaudrey tan. i think all the teachers are kinda pissed with us, cos we're really lazy and everything. i think i'm pretty lazy. that's why i'm on the com now and not doing my homework nor studying for CHINESE TEST TOMORROW. shucks.

can't tell you how much i hate hip hop, but beyonce's beautiful liar is stuck in my head. i don't know why. anabel will be proud. ahh. what a boring easter this has been. last night''s service ROCKED however. haha.

anyway, i must say this- i love benji's strumming. i shall post a video here. no matter how hard i try i STILL CAN'T GET IT.

linkin park's new album minutes to midnight out 15 may! can't wait. hope its as good as the last one. 'what i've done' is not bad. listened to eric dill's first singles and its not bad! i think i'll support him and not the click five!!! unless of course the new singer is cool.

woots! i love xiaozhu he is so funny. i can't believe i passed up the chance to see him in january!!! ahhhhhh....

today started out really boring, with double history. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT. i like learning about china, but two periods-make that 100 mins is abit too much.

amanda liqin mel fenny indora lichun and i went to hq to get the FA manuals. i almost didn't want to go. so fruitless trip. anyway, it was really fulfilling, cos we got to meet COLBY MILLER! okay i know he's not much of a celebrity, not even class D or anything, just a lousy mtv vj. but like yaoqi says, its a 'brush with fame'! anyway, it was funny cos mel went like 'COLBY!' really loudly and he turned back and smiled. i always liked him cos of his earring and that was like the first thing i spotted.

it was super funny and all of us were in high spirits for the rest of the trip, though we spent alot of time in hq waitng for the receipt to be filled in, which was kinda stupid.

ack, have to go with momanddads cell tomorrow to hike up bukit timah hill. like, i'd rather be studying. just kidding.

i need a haircut. can't wait to see amanda's new 'do!

pretty good band. oh, i must go see the new maroon 5 video! hope its nice! ishall cros my fingers,

yesterday was like, the most tiring day this whole year. okay maybe i'm exaggerating. but it was out from like 5 plus to 12 plus at night. and it wasn't all fun. first we ran 10rounds in school. for someone who hardly exercises, i think i did pretty well! haha. even though i was pissed when in the last round everybody suddenly got a sudden spurt of energy wheras i tried but i just COULDN'T! okay i shall stop sulking, because after redcross i had the time of my life when i watched the PHANTOM OF THE OPERA! its really really good. in fact, i want to see it again! good thing i bought the programme booklet, or i wouldn't have anything to take back home except my memories. anabel bought brad little's album. hm. i think he can sing. but an album??? hmm.

woohoo. 棒棒糖 is not bad!